EQ - What's that?

According to Psychology Today, “Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” Basically, there are three main skills we all need: “emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and cheering up or calming down other people.”

All of us have some of these skills to a certain extent, but few have really mastered any of them. That’s ok. As long as we are human, we will have room to grow in just about every aspect of our lives. Learning or bettering the skills of EQ positively impacts every aspect of life because it starts with greater understanding of ourselves and works outward to better personal and professional relationships. It can’t make you like the driver that cuts you off in traffic, but it can help the event not wreck your mood, consume your thinking, or impact the way you drive.

Emotions have gotten a bad wrap because people think having emotions equals being out of control. Nope! You need your emotions. They are like the dashboard in your car. They tell you all kinds of things about yourself and others. Without our emotions, we can’t make good choices, build lasting relationships, find value in life and more.

Some will argue that it is the lack of emotions that allows for clarity, calm, stable, intelligent decision making. I would say that those who have learned to listen to, understand, and guide their emotions are more able to have clear, calm, stable, and intelligent interactions and make good choices. It is not in the suppression of what we feel that we succeed. It is in the application of understanding self and the skills needed to put that understanding to work that we flourish.