Is This You?

When I was in school, from the earliest years, I felt out of place and very confused as to how to fit in. I had been told to be kind, honest, and follow the rules. I did all of those things, and not only did most children not appreciate or want my company, neither did many adults. It seemed that no matter what I tried, I would get corrected, ridiculed, or shunned. Very few people felt moved to help me. Whatever they saw in me, they expected that I had the ability to figure it out on my own. I should not need help of any kind.

I used to cry and wonder why all of this was. I thought I was doing things the right way. So, what was wrong with me? Even when I’d ask for clarification, most of what I received from my peers and teachers was something along the lines of, “You know what you did,” or “If I have to explain it, you’re too stupid to understand.” One teacher that actually did try to help me, started her inquiry with, “Dawn-Marie, how can someone so smart be so stupid?” I had no answer for her. She did some research and found some things about my past that were helpful, and helped me discover that I am dyslexic. But there was nothing about me that led even her to believe that I was ADHD and Autistic. So, I graduated second in my class in high school but convinced that I was too stupid for almost anything. I would be 50-51 years old before I would figure all that out on my own.

Does any of this sound like you? Maybe you knew you were smart, maybe smarter than most, but still couldn’t make very many friends or get people to listen if you needed to correct them. Did your family try to tone you down, shut you up, or just get you to leave the room? Did you find yourself in more trouble than others, or did you end up quiet and painfully shy?

Have you considered the possibility that you may be ADHD or Autistic? Depending on what you believe those terms mean, you may have dismissed this idea already. But I’d encourage you to consider it. Many people, especially highly verbal and sociable guys or quiet and compliant gals, get missed for proper diagnosis and therefore, proper education, skills training, and healthcare.

Knowing if you are neurodivergent, and in what ways, can deeply impact your life for the better. Too many adults are struggling with brain wiring that does not serve them well if left without help, but with knowledge and the right assistance could be more of a superpower than a drain on your mental and physical health.

Getting diagnosed can take a lot of time and a lot of money. Don’t let this discourage you. There are plenty of really helpful sites and online groups full of information and people that are more than happy to help you figure yourself out. As an adult, self-diagnosis is valid, and sometimes all that is available.

If you would like some direct input and advice, email me through the Contact page on this website. We can set up an appointment and help you get started on your journey to figuring yourself out. That’s step one to a much calmer, richer, and more enjoyable life.